Movie Review: Charlotte's Web

"Charlotte's Web"

Grade: B-

Maybe it's unfair to compare the new live-action and computer-animated "Charlotte's Web" with the charming, Oscar-nominated "Babe" (1995). Well, it may be unfair, but it's impossible not to.

Sure, E.B. White's beloved novel was published in 1952, while Dick King-Smith's "The Sheep-Pig" (the source for "Babe") only appeared in 1983. But if the latter book owed a debt to White's, the new movie definitely feels like a "Babe" wannabe.

But, hey, that's not such a bad thing ...

Dakota Fanning plays farmer's daughter Fern, who saves runt pig Wilbur from her daddy's ax by saying, "If I had been born small, would you have killed me?" (There's an oddly strident edge to Fanning's scenes with her screen dad, played by Kevin Anderson, suggesting a history of hurt that the movie never explains.)

Fern lets Wilbur sleep in her bed (inspiring laundry questions), feeds him at the table and smuggles him to school. Finally, her parents insist she take this little piggy across the road to live in her uncle's barn with his other animals --- which, of course, speak with celebrity voices.

Robert Redford as an arachnophobic horse. Kathy Bates and Reba McEntire as a couple of countrified cows. Oprah Winfrey and Cedric the Entertainer as geese. John Cleese as a sheep. Andre Benjamin and Thomas Haden Church as crows. And --- typecasting! --- Steve Buscemi as cranky Templeton, the rat. (Wilbur, for the record, is voiced by child actor Dominic Scott Kay.)

The starriest voice belongs to the ugliest critter: Julia Roberts, sounding like a mix of schoolmarm and fairy godmother, plays Charlotte, the spider who saves Wilbur's life ... again and again and again.

You see, Fern's supposed devotion to Wilbur is undercut by a bungled plot point. Only late in the movie do we learn she hasn't just relocated Wilbur, she actually sold the porker to her uncle. (It's explained early, and clearly, in the book.)

Because the pig's fate is in the hands of a bacon-loving man --- and Fern is off at school, experiencing her first crush on a classmate --- it's up to Charlotte to find a way to keep Wilbur safe from the smokehouse.

For those who don't know how she does it, let's just say a big vocabulary and some cunning web-spinning save the day. Unfortunately, Charlotte has to perform the same trick several times, making the movie feel repetitive.

The script is also repetitious in laying on Life Lessons. Exhibit A: Beau Bridges as a folksy doctor who dispenses nuggets of homespun wisdom, such as: "Maybe children are better listeners than we are." (Yes, and if they are, they'll know when they're listening to bunkum.)

If you made a drinking game of taking a swig every time someone in the movie mentions the importance of keeping promises, you'd be tanked.

Kids probably won't mind. The talking animals make nonstop jokes, with the obnoxious Templeton always proclaiming, "The rat rules!" The corn-hungry crows have amusing run-ins with a scarecrow, even if their thwarted attempts to score some kernels may remind you of Scrat's acorn pursuit from the "Ice Age" movies. And the expert computer animation manages to make Charlotte (who deserves a barnmate's description of "hideous") appear almost adorable.

The movie overall certainly looks good, shot in Australian countryside and given an airbrushed, circa-1950s look. (The gender politics also seem stuck in that era, with Essie Davis playing a traditional mom and housewife, and Fern herself ditching overalls to put on a pretty dress and ribbons in her hair when that schoolboy catches her eye.)

A caution to parents: "Charlotte's Web" doesn't shy away from White's tear-provoking finale. Really young kids may ask you some questions about death.

While "Web" is a well-made family movie, when it comes to talking pigs, I'll take "Babe" any day (and even its daffy, not-quite-as-good sequel). Wilbur is just a cute pig who, arbitrarily, gets saved by a spider. The heroic Babe is a plucky innocent who becomes an active force for good on his farm. In "Charlotte's Web," Wilbur remains just, well, some pig.

Oh, and one final note for parents: If you take young kids to this movie, save yourself some potential trauma. Think twice about serving up any HoneyBaked during the holidays...