At the Billboard Awards in Vegas: Eyewitness Highlights
No Britney, no Paris.. The BMAs were hostless and, it was fine. We're at our seats inside the MGM Grand Garden Arena. We're sitting stage right slightly above the stage...perfect. First up...Janet Jackson... Wow! No wardrobe or dance malfunctions! Hot Hip Hop from the diva and her dancers all clad in white with bright red coat linings. Janet's midriff-baring top was very high necked and buttoned up. She's taking no chances. Amazing opening number.
Kid Rock, in trademark hat, was announced as "the man whose business is known all over the world". We assume his hot temper and recent Pam-less status is the reference. Kid announced Flavor Flav, flamboyant rapper wearing a wildly colored hat and a super big clock around his neck as "bling".
Nelly Furtado won Best Pop Single for "Promiscuous" and accepted dressed in slinky black gown covered with gold lace. "Hey, thanks for letting me be a musically "Promiscuous" star!" Kenny Chesney accepted graciously for Male Country Artist. Three 6 Mafia introduced R&B and Hip Hop Artist of the Year Mary J. Blige who accepted wearing a tight copper sheath dress and carrying a long fox (or we hope faux Fox) stole which DJ kept playing with all during her speech.
Big joke.. it's announced that Kevin Federline would perform...before the boos could hit, the giant screens in the arena played the old horror film "The Blob" in which scores of theater patrons run out theater exits for their lives! Funny. Also funny was the announcement that Paris Hilton and Carmen Elektra were coming out. "Paris" turned out to be SNL comic Chris Kattan who read Paris' lines... er... line "hot" which was the response to everything Carmen said.
Fergie performed "Fergilicious" wearing a cute short full-skirted blue plaid halter dress and super high heels. Katherine McPhee was proud to announce that fellow "Idol" Chris Daughtry's new album was number one on the charts today. Jesse McCartney surprised fellow presenter Kathy Griffin by grabbing her fanny while they announced Soundtrack of the Year.. of course the ultra-popular "High School Musical" album whose cast all looked older and quite adult hot as they accepted.
Rap Artist of the Year T.I. graciously accepted to big cheers and promised to do it again next year. Suddenly four large plastic sheep are rolled onstage.. can only be the L.A.M.B.s of Gwen Stefani. Ultra-hot looking actress Denise Richards in black dress, very high heels and super upswept "do", announced her favorite singer and sure enough, the platinum-haired Gwen took the stage to belt her "Sound of Music"-inspired yodeling song dressed in checked pinafore shorts while her cute and talented dancers played with the plastic sheep and danced up a storm!
The Fray's performance of their popular "How to Save a Life" was marred by camera problems as a roving camera running all over the stage failed to work, leaving viewers with one close shot of the lead singer on piano for the entire performance. But, hey, the song sounded great.
Classic artist Stevie Wonder announced that his luggage was stolen 30 minutes before but he still managed to introduced Century Award winner and still going strong crooner Tony Bennett who got a standing ovation and said he was so moved, he wanted to sing for another 50 years.
Mary J., pumped up from her queen of R&B win, belted out the "This is Me" lyrics with heartfelt soul...pure and simple...this is talent. Carrie Underwood, very blonde now, accepted for Album of the Year "Some Hearts" . Chris Brown was Artist of the Year and looked all grown up in dapper white tux with black lapels and black shirt as he graciously accepted.
The evening wrapped up with a jam session to warm the heart of '80's metalheads; the combo of Kid Rock, Nickelback and Billy Gibbons from ZZ Topp who rocked on as Kid sang... appropriately, "I've been bad and I've been good..lookin' for some girls".. yep.. no Pam in sight. A rockin' good time was had by all and we're leaving Sin City after a few drinks and food at the MGM Grand's exclusive club Studio 54 awards afterparty.
***
Lynn Barker is a Hollywood-based entertainment journalist and produced screenwriter.
