Movie Review: 'The Scorpion King'

In The Mummy Returns, The Rock played a giant bug that was squashed by Brendan Fraser. Flash back to 3000 B.C. and the "bug" is a mighty human warrior with a kingdom to win. Like Schwarzenegger before him, the buffed up hunk from the world of muscles and mania is going for broke on the big screen. But there's a difference, Dwayne Johnson (aka The Rock) has taken acting lessons from the heavy duty coach who helped a lot of actors win and get nominated for Oscars (including Rock's costar Michael Clarke Duncan) and, unlike the early Arnold, the Rock can speak English (he sings too, but that's another story).

In 3000 B.C., a warlord named Memnon (Steven Brand) ruled scattered desert tribes with the aid of a mercenary army of barbarians and the strategy of Cassandra, a sorceress seer (Kelly Hu). The remaining desert people hire assassin Mathayus (The Rock), the last of his people the Akkadians, to kill the sorcerer and thus make Memnon easier to defeat.

On entering Memnon's stronghold of Gomorrah, Mathayus discovers that the "sorcerer" is a hot female and the apple of Memnon's eye. Instead of killing her, he takes her hostage in order to draw Memnon out into the open for a direct confrontation. Even though Cassandra's predictions don't bode well for Mathayus, he believes he controls his own destiny and lives by a creed, "Live Free. Die Well." He enlists the help of Balthazar (Michael Clarke Duncan) another desert leader, and the fight for the kingdom is on.

There are definitely shades of Conan the Barbarian in this action flick but unlike the more serious Conan, The Scorpion King follows the personality of The Rock...strong, stalwart, hell to pay in a fight, and all done with tongue firmly in cheek (and eyebrow raised). The film moves right along from combat to combat and never leaves you bored. Action sequences are clever and the few familiar "nods" to other action films are fun gags rather than annoying (Mathayus runs across a room behind a giant shield just like Indiana Jones in Temple of Doom). Later, meaning to grab a weapon, he grabs... a chicken! Instead of the usual trusty, fire-breathing steed, he rides a cute white camel!

Gorgeous Kelly Hu wears either nothing (in a battle-in-the-bath scene) or some great skimpy outfits that won't find guys running to the lobby for popcorn for fear of missing more "exposure". I was glad to see that Kelly and the other ladies in the film can kick butt in battle with the best of the guys! There is even a sweet Rock/Kelly love scene of sorts that is cuddly and fine for the PG-13 rating that allows inclusion of The Rock's younger fans.

We do have the cliché cute little thief kid and the standard, annoying, comedy relief sidekick who regularly complains about everything, but he's harmless and well played by Peter Facinelli. It's great seeing giant Michael Clarke Duncan throw down The Rock who, for once, looks tiny next to his adversary, and classically trained Scottish actor Steven Brand is pretty hot and evil as Memnon.

You do learn why Mathayus is called The Scorpion King but don't expect to learn how he "sold his soul to Anubis" and got cursed and turned into a giant hybrid scorpion... that's probably going to happen in a third or fourth movie! If the sequels are as action-filled and just plain fun as this one, I'll stay tuned.

For "Rock-in" Action, I give this one 4 out of 5 stars.

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Lynn Barker is a Hollywood-based entertainment journalist and produced screenwriter.